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How to make an keep a New Year Resolution Goal

The year 2020 will be over in less than 70 days from the time I am writing this blog. This year has been the biggest blessing for some and feels like a curse to others. I have never seen so many Christmas decorations for sale before Halloween. Have you? Even the stores are ready for this year to be over. Usually this time of year people are shopping and buying their favorite costumes, planning to attend parties, and going to scary houses. It is also a time to start planning for Thanksgiving, Christmas holidays, and setting goals and making our New Year Resolutions.

I do not know about you, but one thing I know for sure is my New Year Resolution goals tend to fizzle out around March. There have been times it has been earlier than that. It all depends on what is happening in my life. What about you?


Have you ever set goals that you were extremely excited about and then somehow you no longer had any motivation for it anymore?
Why do we lose motivation so quickly?
We set the vision and made it clear, so what happened?

Although 2020 has had its valleys and peaks, I have learned a way to make goal setting last longer than the actual vision board party. You know those fun, upbeat, social parties with your favorite cocktail. You are scrolling through countless magazines to find the perfect pictures that describes what your goal or vision is. I have attended many of these events and I have the actual vision boards to prove it. Now before you jump ship, hold up wait a minute. I am not saying that vision board parties should be null and void. I am introducing you to a new way of setting your goals or life vision that will be more enjoyable, obtainable, motivating, and empowering. We experience growth when we go after our goals. It gives us a sense of achievement and allows us to develop into the person we want to be. Basically, setting the right type of goal can transform your mindset.


There are two types of goals that have a huge influence on whether we achieve that goal or not. The two types of goals are intrinsic and extrinsic goals. Intrinsic goals are goals that address your core needs and wants. They are meaningful to you. They address issues relating to personal growth, close relationships, and your physical and mental wellbeing. There is no emphasis on validation from outside influences. Extrinsic goals are influenced by outside factors such as money, fame, status, or anything that requires validation from others. The focus is always on the prize at the end of the journey versus the actual journey.


“Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.” - Tony Robbins

How to distinguish if your goal is an intrinsic or extrinsic goal?


Example A: I want to exercise and lose weight to look good for my man. Extrinsic goal which seeks validation from someone else.


Example B: I want to exercise so that I can feel healthier and get in the best shape for my age. Intrinsic goal that focused on physical wellbeing.


Example C: I will attend a Japanese cultural event to write a paper for my class. Extrinsic goal which seeks validation from the teacher scoring the paper.


Example D: I will attend a Japanese cultural event to learn more about the culture and meet new people. Intrinsic goal which address personal growth and relationship with others.


Intrinsic goals

  • Will help to strengthen your relationships with others

  • Will excite you, and you will enjoy engaging in the activity

  • Will help you grow personally/professionally once you have mastered a new skill that YOU wanted to learn


Extrinsic goals

  • Will not meet your basic needs

  • Will lack motivation from you over time


Think about a time you or someone else made a large purchase like a house, car, or other things. The saying Keeping Up with the Joneses is real. People buy houses, cars, and other valuable things to show others that they have reached a certain status. There is a constant need to be accepted by society’s standards when we are extrinsically motivated. This can stop people from living the life they truly want to live.


How do I get started setting more meaningful goals?


It is easy to get started. See below:

  • List your goals

  • Ask yourself the following questions, why do I want this to happen? What is the source of my motivation, intrinsic or extrinsic?

  • If your Why or What is extrinsically based, then determine is the goal important to you or important to others. If it is not important to you, scratch it off the list.


Please share some of your new year resolutions goals below.

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Tawaina Jones, LPC, CPCS