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  • Writer's pictureTawaina Jones

Welcome Beautiful Queens!

The year 2020 has been one heck of a year! It seems that attacks are coming from everywhere. There have been attacks on our spirituality, mental & emotional wellness, physical health, families, relationships, marriages, finances, employment, etc.

Has your stress level been high this year? I am raising my hand with you.

It would be too EASY to give up. It is HARDER to push through. The fact that you are reading this at this moment is now part of your testimony of 2020. Guess what, you made it through this pandemic, political, and racial climate. This year has been undefeated, but you have not been defeated.

Are you a “strong black woman”?

A strong black woman has been described as a woman who projects themselves as strong, self-sacrificing, and free of emotions to cope with the stress in their daily lives. There is an expectation that this type of woman can do it all and is expected to do so. There is a need to succeed and feel obligated to help others, despite having their own mental, emotional, and or physical issues.

Am I talking to you?

I want you to know that it is acceptable to be emotional, to cry, be vulnerable, angry, and any other emotion that you feel. Give yourself permission to feel and connect with your emotions. It is normal to be strong and feel as if your life is falling apart. Some days we all would like the world to slow down so that we can catch up. When you feel emotional and you want to give up just know that you are not alone. More women are seeking support with the help from a mental health professional.

What is next?

Well....I hate to bring this up but.... this image will be circulating on every social media outlet between Thanksgiving and the New Year’s holiday. As we enter the 4th quarter of 2020 there will be an increasing amount of social media content and conversations about setting goals and starting the new year off with a BANG! You will see many messages about completing vision boards and setting goals for the new year. Although I enjoy participating in these activities, I encourage you to do something different.

What is different than what I have always done? Setting goals and abandoning them by March....We all have been there and done that at least once in our lives.

I CHALLENGE you to complete a self-care plan instead of the traditional vision board. If vision boards are your thing, go for it, but still complete a self-care plan. I am not talking about setting goals like "I want to lose 10lbs by the end of this month" "I want to graduate from college one semester early". I am talking about a plan that includes your daily journey to improve your emotional and mental wellbeing.

What do you mean?

I encourage you to plan to do things that brings you joy EVERYDAY! Ask yourself...How can I love me more today than I did yesterday? What are some things I need to change in my life? How can I decrease more of what I dislike and increase more of the things I love daily? Your plan should include things such as the following:

· Eating healthy, start small with a minimum of 1 healthy food a day

· Play good feeling music

· Watch your favorite program

· Turn your phone on do not disturb during naps

· Actually, take a short nap

The old saying is true "When we do not plan, we plan to fail". This is the same for us. When we fail to plan for self-growth, healthy lifestyle, relaxation, and other things we tend to start feeling sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, and anxious.

Slow down, breathe slowly, and relax. Be kind to yourself.


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Tawaina Jones, LPC, CPCS  

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